This will be title for my self-help book, then franchised into a series of leadership books.
I am convinced that a lot can be achieved by just having a chat, often a coffee and a chat. Arguments. Problems. Upsets. They can all be sorted out by having a little chat.
Not going in all guns blazing, trying to score points, win our own way. But listening, understanding, paying attention, listening to their concerns, their feelings.
An open-ended approach, not imposing my agenda, but trying to genuinely to find out what’s bothering them.
Conversation – how radical and postmodern is that?
Forgo anger and bristling resentment. Refusing to rise to the bait. Holding in the negative comments and emotions. We don’t have to say them out loud.
Allow the flow of mutual communication. Extend a bridge. Don’t ask for anything. See what they want to do. See what emerges from the dialectic.
Be surprised. Astonished. Learn. Listen to their stories, instead of attempting to impress them with yours.
Not Dale Carnegie’s how to manipulate people but caring.
Not just one-to-one. Chat happens when women sew together, men play snooker, parents and children go to an art workshop.
Chat.
SSSSSOOO TRUE! And so simple!
ReplyDeletewell said - the insight of a true pastor and shows the difference between pastor and preacher.
ReplyDeleteYes it's SSSSOOO TRUE - but it is simple? It might be more sought if Paul had put listening in the list of Charismatic gifts.
That said I remember with joy the talking and the listening - thankyou Steve for just chatting